There is nothing more precious and grounding than relationships that keep us steady on life's universally loving and principled road.
Hmmm. And I say 'hmmm' with good reason. As a very (too very, I believe also) modern society, we've lost touch with each other, and with doing the right thing. We have become careless, selfish, cruel, unethical, and even lack the simplest of regard for each other, especially if 'that other' is not one we can utilize for our own playful, 'touchy-feel-y' personal gratification pleasures, monetary gains, or work-saving benefit. Just flip on your television to the news channel for five minutes, yes, just 5 minutes, to confirm all of the above...
It's a negative pattern of self-approving behaviour that stems from being in a negative home or working environment, and hanging out with negative people-- the ones whose only focus is on me, myself, and I, and if you subscribe to their channel of scheming, deceptive behaviours, they will give you a few extra 'treats' with the promise of making your journey easier, until...? Where else would we learn such depreciating behaviours? We all know at least one and may have even been, or are still a subscriber to this particular type of network. To add more fuel to this already roaring sentence, just a few weeks ago while having coffee with a girlfriend, we couldn't help overhearing the verbal frustrations of a nearby patron as she unleashed a relationship situation that had obviously hit its lowest low especially in the respect department, and it was sure time for some serious changes. In my mind, I wondered how she had started the relationship as that often dictates the longer-term expectations, behaviours and course of the 'union'.
The world has become so sleazy and dishonourable that we are often touched by the simple graces of life, like the once common and everyday 'thank you'.
And then I quietly voiced this, and immediately my girlfriend loudly said, "I AGREE!!" (and yes, in caps) lol
Another case in point... Every now and again, I'd run into a manager at a large well-established global company. And every time we'd run into each other and ask how each other was doing, I'd say something along the lines of pretty busy but balancing (truth), and smiling, while she'd always share that she was tired, give a weary shrug, a half-smile, and again repeat that she was just really tired. Sigh. We stopped to chat a bit longer one Thursday afternoon back then and really talked. I suggested a break to get away, rest for a few, and reset. And then she unfolded the real situation. She was in a position where she was constantly rotating two pretentious mindsets-- one she had to project to her boss and clients, and another to those she supervised. In doing this, she often threw her valuable and most vulnerable staff under the bus to maintain a safe standing with her higher ups. And needless to say, the whole hypocrisy of this working game started taking its toll, creating a weary mental and very distorted spirit. It's a very dangerous practice for any organization. And I've seen a few well-built businesses in recent years lose their footing because of similar operational patterns, when simple changes could have been implemented to rebuild a deteriorating and declining situation. It was way past time to start being straight up with the boss and clients, and to start building on honest, open communication for the greater, overall, long-term good.
Engaging in honest, fair, and worthwhile work is something that I personally hold dear, and also why I choose positions very carefully. There is no way I would be able to sleep peacefully at night if I was invested in a position where without careful thought and objective thinking, I was leaving my staff/ people in an unbalanced, that's-just-how-it-is, who-cares, big deal, untidy operational state. And boy do I love (and need) my comfy and cozy, uninterrupted, quiet deep slumber at night. I'm not cut from that kind of cloth, and it would certainly be a slap in the face to my elders and their teachings. The universe never rises up to meet, greet and celebrate this type of hideous and sloppy behaviour... so avoid such habits like the plague. In women's wellness workshops, I share a few observable behaviours that should set our internal fire alarms off right away. Here are a few of the most common...
... speaking poorly of your spouse, marriage, and chosen live-in arrangements
... a blatant disregard for family
... foul and offensive open language (even casually) -- unacceptable
... reverse psychology dialogue, tactics, and behaviours
... a lack of regard for personal and the organization's property
... lack of, poor, dishonest and ever-changing communication
And here's what to look for and embrace...
Tomorrow we wrap up with our 5th and final step of this series: 5 Ways To Everyday Calm.